Poskod Malaysia

(By June Low)

If you come to Sentul a lot, at some point you must have spotted the cows hanging about.

Ah, no need to hide. I’m not accusing you of vandalising cattle. Got no beef with you. Just assuming an observation.

It’s not a common sight in KL, so you may have wondered where they come from, who owns them, and which football team they support. Luckily for you, I paid their cowherd a visit and got the latest moos.

It was tea time, and the cows were just coming home. They filed obediently into their shed, led by a worker grunting commands. I said “hi” and walked across the way to have a chat with siblings Sam and Leela (not their real names). Sam lit a cigarette and told me about the problems facing the bovine community.

Their cow shed is smack between dense commercial and residential areas, whose inhabitants are not so dense. These residents complain, from time to time, that the cows are a nuisance. Every time the press run a story, DBKL comes along and drops Sam and Leela a summons to close shop.

I asked if YTL had a problem with the cows grazing on his land. Sam said YTL was probably pleased as punch that he was getting his gardening done for free.

Sam and Leela have refused to cowtow, and are determined to remain there until they get a suitable alternative. They say their family have reared cows for generations and it’s their only source of income. Milk is sold at RM4 per litre and Leela also makes fresh yoghurt.

Sam’s written to plenty of people for an alternative plot of land, but he says that their pleas go in one ear and out the udder. The only land the authorities have offered are either completely out of the way or without basic infrastructure.

If he were allowed to remain there, Sam says he has plans for the place. He wants to tidy it up and turn it into a petting zoo/tourist attraction of sorts, where people can come and learn how to milk a cow, make yoghurt, buy fresh produce, and have their picture taken with the animals (they also own goats and chickens).

However, notwithstanding these positive plans, many locals maintain the opinion that the cows need to moooove.

Detractors say waste management is nonexistent and that the stench is getting out of hand. The cows are also moved to their pasture at peak hours, causing traffic jams.

By my reckoning, it’s probably also really noisy, as a lot of them have horns.

But, seriously, this is a tough question for me. I grew up around cows. Walking to school as a kid, I have fond memories of dodging cowpats, and laughing when some of my friends failed the challenge. As far back as I can remember, cows and their droppings have been a part of Sentul — and, I would say, form a big part of the Sentul identity.

That said, I can also appreciate the counter arguments.

So what do we do? Say Sam gets a nice plot of land soon, which is better for him and the cows. He moves away and is a happy bunny. We’re happy for him, but that also means Sentul has no more cows!

There can only be one answer to this conundrum: there should be cow pageant. The best cow will win the privilege to live in Sentul luxuriously for a year, and serve as town mascot (all expenses to be borne by YTL, obviously). Problem solved.